On Discomfort and Depression

Getting out of bed in the morning was especially hard. I know it’s commonplace for people to say they were so depressed they couldn’t get out of bed in the morning, so much so that excessive sleeping has become one of the official clinical symptoms of depression, but the lived experience has many nuances not captured by colloquial expressions and abstract diagnoses. I would wake up, but I would be unable to make the next move, as though I were literally paralyzed and the only physical difference between being awake and being asleep was that my eyes were open. My state of immobility seemed aimless and unmotivated, not something I could change in any way. I couldn’t even really recognize what possessed me as dread or anxiety.

I would lie in bed thinking but unable to get up, often covered in a layer of sweat that would soak the sheets. It was not the sweat of heat but something else, a kind of animal fear exuding through my pres and leaving a sticky film on my body. During that fellowhsip year, the bed in my furnished rental apartment never became comfortable. I was sleeping on odds and ends of sheets that had been left there; the faded pastel polyester was worn and pilled and felt bad against my skin. (Eventually, I learned to being my own bedding when I move, a simple but effective technique for making my body feel at home.)

– Ann Cvetkovich, Depression: A Public Feeling

Notes on empathy, autobiography, philosophy, Fredrick Jameson and university – 23/09/24

” This is how Eve Sedgwick teaches us to read—not from a paranoid position, but from a reparative position that tries to find “the many ways selves and communities succeed in extracting sustenance from the objects of a culture—even of a culture whose avowed desire has often been not to sustain them.”

” All too often criticism points out dehumanizing aspects of the world only to further depersonalize our experience.”

“Shantideva approaches this question through a position of radical empathy that dissolves the divide between the self and the other. We would do well to try and do the same. Reading deeply is a good place to start.”

“The story of the struggle to find one’s way into philosophy, the struggle to find one’s philosophical voice, is a struggle to find a language ― a point I took rather literally. But the story of that struggle is also one’s intellectual autobiography.”

https://www.abc.net.au/religion/stanley-cavell-philosophy-and-autobiography/10696038

“Marxism is, in Jameson’s view, the only critical approach capable of making sense of human experience as a historical phenomenon.”

“Dialectical thinking, Jameson has said, “requires you to say everything simultaneously, whether you think you can or not,” and there is a strong sense of that in his prose. “We will return to this later,” “meanwhile,” “as we have seen,” are common refrains. Remarking on this element of Jameson’s style in his review of Valences of the Dialectic (2009), Benjamin Kunkel observed that it is “as if everything was present in his mind at once, and it was only the unfortunately sequential nature of language that forced him to spell out sentence by sentence and essay by essay an apprehension of the contemporary world that was simultaneous and total.””

http://jacobin.com/2024/09/fredric-jameson-marxism-literature-theory

“One trait of postmodernism unmentioned by Jameson was the special difficulty critics and thinkers of recent generations have experienced in conveying their thoughts except through the medium of someone else’s; intellectuals today tend to offer their commentary on the world by way of comments on another’s commentary.”

“And you could say that American higher education itself suffered a dialectical reversal somewhere around 1980 – to date, the high-water mark of class mobility in the US – as the universities went from being among the main vehicles of egalitarianism to being the primary means of reproducing class privilege.”

https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v32/n08/benjamin-kunkel/into-the-big-tent